M

Elvis Costello's "She" echoes in the background. I turn towards my phone. The clock on it shows 4:00a.m, an obscene hour to be awake no matter for what purpose. Her face keeps popping up in my mind. Her black satin hair hidden under chestnut locks. Her lips, a vibrant candy red playfully enticing. Irresistible to me. They call to me. Pull me closer.

I'm pulled out of my reverie by an unseen force called reality. It's been 8 months since the break-up and still I long for her. I let out a resounding sigh and roll over wishing I could fall asleep. Wishing for a shred of dignity for myself, for my sanity. I get none.

I count my blessings and repeat the words over and over again, a name. Her name: H. M gave me lessons on life and love and taught me more in the 3 months that we were together than the 22 years that I've been alive. H continues to teach me more. More about who I am, Who I should be. Both of them continue to play a role in my life. A life that at one point i've been confused about, unsure of. I used to value status and wealth above all others. Not anymore. I've loved and lost, sat under endless night skies and wished for death on more than one occasion yet, my days with M will always be the most impressionable.

Now I start a new experience. That with H. She is my life and my love. Her burning passion extinguishes my own. Every bit as amazing as M. She helps me move on and with her support and strength I continue on the journey that I started with M.

Both M and H are important in my life and will continue to be so till the day I die.

Tonight's post was brought to you by the numbers 1 and 16, the color red and the word Impressionable. The numbers 1 and 16 for the days I started a relationship with M and H respectively, the color Red for passion and a lighter shade of M 's hair and the word Impressionable for the roles of both M and H on me.